Ok so I promised to do a write-up on my healing process. I will focus on the two main processes.
1. Zen
2. Asea
I am that type of person that when the shit hits the fan I go competitive with my life. Fall down, get up and GO. When something crappy happens I decide to turn this event around and make it something which improves my life by blocking negativity making the space for postivity bigger. I am in charge of my life and I can choose what I want and I make it happen and I let it happen. I have done alot of of serious meditation retreats, yoga, food diets, I hardly ever read novels but my bookshelf is filled with books on self-help and selfawareness and all kinds of philospohy. After my teaching degree in Sweden I studied anthroposophy for 2 years at university in England. I decided I cannot have all this education and not use it for my life because this sucks and is unintelligent!

We all have our own healing capacity and I have always believed we need to use both spiritual and scientific methods to succeed. I studied Anthroposophy to get a balance for my stateschool teaching methods because I wanted to understand WHY we start to teach children at the age of 6-7, I could not accept the answer that's just WHAT we do. The mental abilities are as important as the physical so when I use spritual methods in combination with the scientific approach we get the holistic balance. This is what I know. I am not imposing my ideas I am just talking from my own experiences and maybe my story can give ideas for others. We have to help each other.

The first thing I did was to recover my zen capacity. When my foal Gacela died I was as low in energy as I have ever been in my life. I could not save her but I decided that something constructive had to come from this harsh experience with her. So I basically decided that even if I could not save her I could save myself. So I decided to get well from fibromyalgia. By a coincidence (there are no coincidences) there was a new zen course in Madrid already the following weekend after her passing. I had planned to do the course to be able to use zen on Gacela but even if it was too late for her I was now going to do this for myself. Zen is a healing teqnique you can use on a energetic level. Attending the courses is totally free and anyone can attend and learn the teqnique that was passed down from a government working man in Sri Lanka (my brother is adopted from Sri Lanka). When the men in these countries retire it is customary to go and practise some kind of refinement of your mind and dedicate yourself and what remains of your life to help and improve society. And this guy developed the technique called Zen. Now a irish woman called Suzanne Powell teaches zen on 3 day courses in Madrid and all over the spanish speaking world. She cured herself from cancer using zen. I have already attended her courses but as I did not keep up the daily meditation and I lost the capacity for the practice so I had to reactivate this. 

In a haze of pain and dizzyness because my baby had just died, I have no idea how I got myself out of bed into the car and ended up in the middle of Madrid where I had to be. I had questions but I could not muster the energy to speak in public in front of hundreds of people because I was overwhelmed of my pain. I knew I woud cry and this would have been embarassing because who would understand a broken hearted horse-mum in the middle of starving childen in Africa etc. But my questions got answered through the other participants's questions and basically I understood that when 'Ella' died it was her time to die. I had to take the lesson to accept this fact of life and let go and feel love for myself knowing I had pushed myself over my limits saving her over and over again but that in the end it was never going to be up to me to keep her alive. Accept and let go process started. And my goal was to get well from it.

I want to point out that I am certain the decision to get well was absolutely fundamental. I switched my mind to give importance to being well and not to the fibromyalgia symptoms anymore. So I meditated and I gave myself zen every day.

I have for over a year been taking a product called Asea. Asea works on a cellular level and is basically redox molecules that make our cells work efficiently and that we all have stored naturally in our bodies. These can work more or less efficient and Asea makes them go to work. They have with great scientific skill managed to store these in bottles of basic distilled water and sodium chloride and you take the product orally daily.

Over time diagnosed with fibromyalgia you understand there is no doctor that knows how to fix you. I had a discussion with rheumatology specialist at Puerta de Hierro, Madrid and when I asked him frankly if help for my condition lies outside the contemporary medical system he actually aswered yes. Finally I got an honest answer and it felt correct. So I decided to find my own way with alternatives and Asea seemed to ring a bell for me.

When Gacela happened I had been taking Asea for alittle less than a year but I had not done this with dicipline and I had been taking a too small dosis so I ended up with alot of bottles stored up in my basement. I decided to start to take this daily without failure and increase the dosis 4 times. When I did this something incredible happened. I woke up with a clear head, I had a constant energy and even high energy levels all day long! I was able to go out dancing to 6 am and I had a totally different power during the day for my work, working out my horses and normal stuff. It was an incredible feeling and this good feeling generated more energy and happiness and suddenly I realized I did not have any fibrosymptoms at all. Gone.

I am a very sceptical person so I didn't tell anyone until this condition had been constant for 1 month. I kept taking the 4x dosis and because I was not aware of how many bottles I had I was suddenly totally out of storage. From 4x dosis to nothing became a big chock for my system and I had very strong withdrawal symtoms, sweating and fatigue. This affirmed to me that this product was doing its job and that my system was supported by it. When next Asea delivery arrived I was back on track again. At the moment I am down to 2x dosis and I am now back to feeling like before with good energy and I still have no fibromyalgia symtoms going into my third month.

And that's that's how I changed my story, with the inspiration of this beautiful little horse. Thank you. 

Ok I write this for closure for myself and everyone that has been asking. Gacela's diagnose was 'Síndrome de Hipoxia Perinatal', her physical body developed but her neurological system did not follow the development so in the end she could not stand up and coordination remained poor. She was in hospital for 12 days, her bloodtests were ok and she did show a slight progress so I gave her time to see if her system could work it out and develop. I had to pick her up and put her down and feed her foal milk supplement every 3-4 hours as she could not nurse. She did develop physically and became more attentive and personal, less dreamy, fun, always communicating what she wanted out loud, determined to get up and a fighter. She could work out how to crawl under the fence to greet her sisters, she was totally independent in the field, did what she wanted and did not care about walking her own way. After a few weeks she was able to stand up by herself and nurse alittle and she did learn how to eat pellets and hay but not enough for her independent survival. After 1,5 months she was getting big and I could hardly get her on her feet and she was not able to get up by herself anylonger. Of course I came close to her because she developed a big personality and strongly communicated what she wanted, and when you keep a life in your arms and it depends on you for survival you get to somekind of feeling of 'motherhood'. I suppose is natures way to give you strenght to keep going and I would have kept on if there would have been any possibility for further recovery. 

It's a sad story yes because she wanted to live but she had a good time until the end when I had to let go and say goodbye to Ella. Made this little movie for remembering her. I was not able to find much info on similar cases to compare her case with others, perhaps her story can help someone. 

Thank you to both my incredible parents for the best support, especially to Jorge, and Marta who helped me save her, to Ruben, Carlos and Alex for being helpful and stand-in, to Ulla & Stig for emotional support and to everyone else genuinely cheering for her. 

And thank You Ella beautiful little sweatheart for coming to me, I loved you dearly and we wanted the best for you, and we keep you up with our love always. 
   
         

Gacela got a fever and is now back on medication, again she could not get up as she was weak so now she is back on medication. Got fever down so today she is better. Fiero injured himself and was on 3 legs but he is back on 4 now. He's the coolest guy let me bandage and ice his leg no problem, my kind of horse.

And this is also my type of horse even though this one I have forwarded to someone else so he's sold, a black PRE selected for dressage and he will be going to live in USA.

CAFY; PRE born 2008

Has also vetted this gorgeous black PRE mare, she's a cool one doing passage etc and just adorable. The plan with her is to make several happy will tell you more about her project. 

LAILA - PRE mare born 2009

Celebrated my birthday with 2 and 4 legged family, somewhat quickly because I was out with clients that day, as always fun connecting with new horse-people.

Best birthday present, Ella 1 month. 

 
I have decided to offer Chula and Euforia for sale and keep this years foals instead. So there is a new section on my web, Vikinga horses for sale, where these girls are presented with pictures and video. I might just sell one of them but now I offer both for sale, if one get's sold I am planning take the other one off the market and keep for my own breeding. 

http://www.horsespreviktoria.com/1/horses_for_sale_vikingapre_877009.html 

Donoso just had his first PRE offspring bred and born in USA, it's a beautiful dark bay colt!

Congratulations to Lindsey and Grulla!
     

Wow killing us softly sweet baby Ella, but she is now stable and has her own brand new grasspaddock in the field and yesterday she learned about electricity. She fell to the floor everytime she got to the fence but now she can get up by herself and I try hard not to run to her rescue so she can learn. Yesterday I hired another groom so I can get more sleep and other things done when my family back-up is leaving for Sweden. Fiero is now 1 month and a super beauty, incredible movements, will be new generation Donoso-stud. I want more like him so now I have repeated the combination of Novedosa & Donoso again. I enjoy every day just looking at my horses growing and seeing them develop. I had plan to sell this years foals but Gacela is obviously not for sale, Fiero possibly as I have no same age companion for him. My 1 year old girls are like a decoration on the green flowery field. Both are very tall, totally correct in conformations and extremities. My horses are handbred and they get the individual care and this is not the same as a horse bred and thrown out on field and treated like livestock for 3 years, or bred in small unnatural corrals. Mine go on the grass fields and are kept inside when the weather is bad on golden strawbeds and they get the best quality food, vitamins and minerals that are essential for their development. And most importantly they are treated with individual care and human interaction and are able to develop their personality. I like to raise horses in a personal way, they need to be horses but they also need to know how to communicate, interact with humans and develop their personalities. My parents raised a filly on bottle as her mum died when she was 3 weeks. That mare did Grand Prix dressage and 140 showjumping. She got great dressage offspring, some exported to USA. She was bred well and was given the oportunity to develop naturally and with the personal care she was able to develop her ability to cooperate with people, which are the bases also for dressage. We need horses with a developed personality if we want winners, I believe. And when we care about our horses they give it back to us in one way or the other. 

Caring for Gacela
 

 
1 year old girls Euforia and Chula
             
Fiero 
 

I have testridden a new black beauty PRE stallion for clients and tomorrow we do vetting for USA, a stunning black PRE I have selected for dressage. Recently I have worked intensively with specific requests from clients without the client coming to view the horse. 
There is now a jet black Donoso-mare for sale that I will be happy to forward information on if anyone wants a mare for dressage or breeding. 

D is now a grandsire in Finland, congratulations Tiina and Donita VIK to little beautiful Nelilyn Armoniosa!!

Donita VIK 

Two milestones this weekend, Start did his second GP and Gacela is finally at home!!

We start with Starti that has not got the preparation he deserves as have had my little foal in hospital now for almost 2 weeks. So I have ridden when I had the time and the energy and most of these two weeks I've had neither. But with my work and the life I lead realize I will never arrive to a perfect timing before a competition so I thought f,..k it, we are going. I made our goal for this competition a serious test and over 60% and S actually did his absolute best test, nailing all the tempis and trot extentions, nailed all flying changes 100% clean, super stops, tripping once, one canter step in one of the passage and a kick at the end of 15 perfect tempi ones! So a great feeling and super pleased with my Starti!! 

   
     
     

And finally today on her 12th birthday we went to pick up Gacela. She is much stronger and I hope she will keep advancing, my warmest Thank You to the most fantastic team of vets and assistants at HSVM Hosptial Veterinario Sierra de Madrid, they have given Ella a chance to live. 

Gacela 12 days old and at home.
   

I have had the most emotional day, I try hard not to 'feed' the feeling of emotion because it is totally overwhelming and I've got to keep it together. Today a long drive to testride two wonderful horses that was both a pure pleasure to ride and look at, excellent presentated and professionally trained. Of course hitting the easter traffic and journey got longer than estimated and of course also I get lost. All the time I get lost as I depend on the GPS and never seem to know where I am but finally I was were I most wanted to be; In the hospital where Gacela 'Ella' is fighting for it together with her mum and a wonderful team of vets. I am so greatful to these people, and to my friend Jorge that got us there in the night. I am totally aware they saved/are saving her life. So my heart held it's breath when I saw my little baby, she stood up. Wow, that feeling to see her on her legs. We all supported her and helped her going to have her first intent to suckle from mami Pica that is a super mami. Wow it was an incredible feeling to see her fight for it and be able to be there and support her. She got hold of it but she didn't get to drink because she is not in balance and development for that yet but it felt like almost. She fights and she wants it which is the most important for her possibilities. Such a big girl with with the longest legs ever and so much spririt. Then she had to lie down again to rest and get her milk and fell asleep next to me. So beautiful with much love in this and around this little horse. Just beautiful. And thank You so much for all your support in facebook, so many good people, I can feel you. I am the most greatful horse-mami ever. 

Gacela VIK, 2 days old!
       

My two new little new lifes are killing me softly. One because he is adorable and just the perfect mini-golden Donoso and my heart skips a beat when I see him. And the other because she was born premature and is now in intesive care in hospital and it's a critical situation for her. Gacela was born at 21.20 and I was there to deliver her, I got the feeling very quickly she was weak so I gave her milk and massaged her to dry. I felt she would definitely be too weak to stand up so I called vet, he gave her 0,5l milk in tube and stitched up the cord as she was bleeding alot. Only 3,5 hours old we carried her into the trailer and drive her and mummy Picara 1 hour up the road. She had convulsions and was very weak not able to stand or even sit up. I arrived home at 6am in the morning and at 10am I got first update that she was still here and not worse. She is now in the best hands and her situation is alittle more stable as she has no infections and seem to respond to the treatment. She is always with one person by her side and I was sent pictures and told that she is able to hold herself up lying at times. And with the help of the people supporting her she could actually maintain herself standing alittle. These are very good news but she needs time and there is alot of develoment still necessary for her recovery. I gave her the name Gacela, she is very big foal with incredibly long legs, let's hope we will see her run on the fields using them next to her brother. She is the grulla type buckskin, just beautiful.

So today I had to have a quiet day, I sat down in flowering field with Fiero that comes running when he sees me, the new alfalfa arrived, went home and rested until it was time to go back to give everyone dinner. Finally I took D for a ride under the moon and listening to the frog-serenade. It was a good day.
Here my new little heartbreakers;

FIERO VIK 

Cream buckskin colt sired by Donoso VII, dam Novedosa PM born 26-03-2015
         

GACELA VIK
Grulla buckskin filly sired by Donoso VII, dam Picara PM, Born 31-03-2015